Oh Look, A Spider
by Regal Panther
Summary: My first upload! Aislinn, a teenager with nothing to do, decides to call every one of her friends, hoping to find something to do. However, when she returns home from shopping with her friend, she sees the worst horror man has ever faced...


MATT ONE SHOT FOR EmotionalxFreak

I created this one-shot for my One-Shot series on Quizilla… But since I adore it so much, and it's quite funny in my morbid opinion, I decided to make it the first post on my account. I'd appreciate a review, though if it's a flame then just rant at the wall in front of you.

Or, if you don't have a wall in front of you, rant at your shoulder-devil instead.

* * *

The phone's busy dial rang, and I sighed, plopping down on my bean bag chair. Everything in my room was currently considered boring by yours truly, and neither Near, Mello, Ryuzaki, or any of my other acquaintances were picking up. See, no one was really my enemy, but no one was really my friend, either. So I call them all "acquaintances". Or, something to that affect.

"_This number is busy at the moment. Please call back later."_

"Boooooring…" I complained. Inspiration whacked me upside the head, and I jumped up, dashing downstairs in my currently empty house.

Riffling through all the books several times over proved to be futile, so I picked up the phone –again- and dialed Mello's number. Maybe he'd want to come over?

"_This number is busy at the moment. Please call back later."_

"No! You have betrayed me!"

I chucked the phone across the room and it crashed into the wall, almost breaking it. As it lay there dejectedly, I thought, _Hey, it's your own fault for not letting me speak with my friends._

About an hour later, after consuming large amounts of peaches and Pepsi, and some peanut butter, I called Near again. The busy tone didn't ring.

"Hello?"

"Near! Oh thank God I was so bored! So! How's life?"

Silence rang clear from the other end. "Fine."

I blinked, disheartened, but kept smiling. "Wha'cha doing?"

"Solving a puzzle."

"How're you feeling?"

"Occupied.

"What are you wearing?"

"Clothes."

"Are you sitting or standing?"

"Sitting."

"Do you like sugar or spice?"

"Neither."

"Are you made of everything nice?"

"If that's all you have to say, Aislinn, then I will go. Goodbye."

"Wait! No!"

I stared at the phone, sighed miserably, and let it drop to the phone after hitting the end-call button. I sighed again, blinked, and sighed once more, ending with a yawn because my brain was calling me stupid.

"Hey… Hana?"

I had finally remembered my only other friend, who was coincidentally my neighbor.

"Hey! Ash! What's up?"

"Boredom. Wanna go shopping?"

"Well… I can only go for a little while, because we're leaving later to visit my grandparents."

"Kay! Be there in twenty minutes."

"Sure. Wait, wh-"

I hung up before she could object, and dashed upstairs to grab everything I would need.

* * *

I returned home about two hours later, laden down with bags from three or four different stores, my purse, and an empty wallet.

I threw them onto my bed, straightening out my back and hearing it crack in response. I opened my eyes to stare at my ceiling for a moment, but froze in regret at soon as I did.

Right there. Right above my head. It was staring right at me.

A spider. A black, ginormous, evil, hairy, creepy, crawly spider. And it was staring. Right. At. Me.

So, I promptly screamed like the little girl I was.

I ran downstairs, my new clothes forgotten in light of this most recent catastrophe. Careful of any other Creatures of the Abyss, I grabbed a shovel from the garage, an ice pick, a rolled-up newspaper and a magazine, a pair of extra-thick, extra-long rubber gloves, a magnifying glass, a pencil and a notebook, a broom, a cordless house phone, and a jar of peanut butter with a spoon in case I got hungry.

I then situated myself directly under a light in the basement, sitting in a corner I had just swept with the broom, gripping the shovel tightly with my knees drawn up to my chest. I had the rolled-up newspaper in the other hand.

I took a few moments to write down my will in the notebook. It read:

_In light of the current situation, I feel the need to write out my final wishes, and my dying will. _

_To Hana: all things in my room you think you can use._

_To Mom: all my gardening supplies, and my cook books (except for those about chocolate)._

_To Dad: every single book I own._

_To Ken, my little brother: Every cent in my bank account, for education (or video games-I'm dead, so I don't care)._

_To Mello: all the chocolate currently in my possession, along with the cookbooks for chocolate recipes._

_To Near: all my puzzles and board games._

_To Ryuzaki: all things computer-related._

_To Matt: all my video games, even the Game Boy._

_To all those I did not mention… Deal with it. I am currently faced with the greatest danger known to man; therefore I don't have much time to divvy up my worldly possessions. Though, I wish I had time to say this: Matt, I have had a crush on you for a long time, and I'm sorry I never got to say it to you in person._

_But, the thing is, this spider is really starting to get to me. I will most likely be dead by tomorrow, when my parents and my little brother return from their trip._

_Goodbye, spider-infested world._

_-Aislinn_

I signed it with a shaky flourish, panic overriding any other sensible thoughts, and sat on the notebook to protect it after closing it on my last testament.

A thought struck me upside the head: why don't I call someone for help?

"Come on, come on, pick up, pick up!!!"

I was shaking in my little safety corner, and I waited anxiously as the busy tone rang for the twentieth time on Mello's phone. "Damn it all! That was my last hope!"

A few more hours passed by in a blur, until finally, I saw it. The spider had followed me. Into the basement.

"Dear God I'm gonna die."

I ended up using the broom to try and get the spider away. It crawled an extra few feet towards the other end of the wall, letting me breath easier. "Maybe not."

Suddenly, I had the urge to talk to someone. Anyone. Even boring old Roger at this point.

So I dialed the first number that came to mind: Matt's cellphone.

_Ring, ring… ring, ring… ring, ring…ring, ring…_

"Come on, come on… HELLO!?"

"What the… Ash? Why are you screaming?"

"Thank God you picked up! Seriously, I thought I was going to die alone!"

"What?"

Matt became completely serious at that.

"There's this… and it… and it's staring at me… an-and I'm scared, and-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Ash, calm down. What's there? What's staring at you?"

"It's a… a big… hairy, dark… and, and creepy…"

Complete and articulate sentences were beyond me at this point.

"Where are you?"

"House."

"What? Isn't there someone else at your place?"

"No, parents and bro away."

"Okay… listen, I'm gonna stay on the phone. I'll be over there in about twenty minutes, alright? Stay calm, don't panic…"

"Too goddamn late! I'm gonna frickin' die, Matt! I'm frickin' dead!"

"Stop that! You're not gonna die, Ash." I heard his car start up, and the engine roared in the background. "Everything's gonna be okay. I'm on my way now."

"Y-yeah… And, Matt?"

"Huh?"

"Bring a flamethrower."

"What?" His voice deadpanned.

I gulped, watching every little twitch that demonic spider made, too busy panicking for the fact that Matt (the greatest guy to ever live, and my ultimate crush) was coming to my house to save me to sink in.

"Okay, okay, Ash, everything's fine. Okay? I'm coming up to your front door now."

_Knock, knock._

"Eep!"

"Chill! It's just me. I don't see anything strange… is there a spare key?"

"Fake rock. Dark gray. Garden."

I heard some shuffling, and some sort of click reverberated in my ears. Help was on the way!

"I got it. I'm coming in now… Where are you?"

"Basement. Hurry up!"

"I'm coming! Don't worry!"

Footsteps sounded from above, and the door opened, admitting more light to illuminate the spider.

"Ash?"

"Corner."

I saw him, and he stared at me, his expression somewhere between cautious/alert and amused. I admit, with the shovel, the gloves, and the peanut butter, I must have looked pretty ridiculous.

"So… what's wrong?"

I pointed a shaky finger at the black spot on the wall, and Matt walked over, his close proximity finally getting me to realize he was actually in my house.

"It's a spider." He stated it simply, like it was nothing.

"A big, black, hairy, creepy, crawly spider!" I corrected in a high voice. He stared chuckling, and held out his hand to me. I shrank back.

"That thing followed me! It was staring right at me! I swear to God! It's gonna frickin' kill me, Matt! It's gonna bite me in my sleep and kill me!"

"I think someone needs some therapy." He gave me a funny look, and I scowled.

"Kill it already!"

He sighed, held up his hand, and smashed it against the wall, right on the spider.

And, through the relation of cause and effect, I screamed. He winced away from me, wiping his hand on a tissue from the Kleenex box.

"Oh my God! Matt! You've been infected!"

"Nope." He cheerfully showed me his unblemished palm, and, astonished, I grabbed it and lightly ran my fingers over the spot where I was sure he had been bitten.

"But… the spider… and smoosh… and bite…"

"It didn't get a chance to bite me. Now, come on."

He hauled me up by my rubber-glove covered hand, right into his chest. He was laughing (at my panic over the spider, no doubt), and he was also hugging me tightly.

"Matt…?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm okay now."

"Obviously not. You're shaking!" He continued chuckling as he guided me upstairs, away from the black spatter on the wall, the shovel, the broom, and other essential Spider Invasion supplies. Although, I don't think they'd have any effect against the Leader of the rebellion, Spider-Man.

When he had gotten me calm enough to be sleepy, it was almost midnight. As it turns out, more time had passed spent in that corner than I originally thought.

* * *

When I woke up, it was to the smell of fresh coffee and smoke.

"Eh…?"

"Yo. Morning, Ash."

"Matt?" I blinked, proceeding to rub the sleep out of my eyes.

"Yeah, you fell asleep on the couch. I made some coffee. Hope you don't mind."

"No… but… what happened?"

"Spider."

"WHERE?!"

I rolled off the couch onto the floor and grabbed a magazine, rolling it up ad holding it in certified Red Cross ready position.

"Wow. I've never seen you move so fast."

"Where's the goddamn spider?"

"I was just trying to remind you about the spider last night. You really had me worried, Ash. I thought someone was trying to kill you."

"Someone WAS trying to kill me! A spider!"

"No, I mean, I thought some huge hairy guy followed you home with a gun."

"Oh… No, it was definitely a spider."

Matt sighed impatiently, but then it turned into a grin.

"So, you've "had a crush on me for a long time now", eh?"

I glanced over at him, wondering what he meant when, to my dismay and utter horror, he was holding up the notebook I had written my dying will in.

"…yes?" I replied, nervous, trying to gauge his reaction from my place on the floor. He was smiling, though, so either he felt the same way or he was actually a cruel person in disguise.

"I never would have thought, what with the way you would always call me for help, when you were bored, when you just felt like being annoying, when you wanted to prank someone…"

"You knew?"

I glared as evilly as I could, but it was interrupted by a yawn. I opened my eyes to see him squatting down in front of me, the faint smell of smoke lingering on his clothes.

"Coffee?"

He offered me his mug, and I accepted the warm gift immediately, taking a few sips and letting it warm my hands.

"Can I have it back now?"

"Nope. My hands are cold."

"If your hands are cold…"

Matt took the mug and put it on a coaster on the coffee table, and wrapped his warm hands around mine, making me smile.

I reached up and brushed my lips against his. "There's your thank you gift."

"If this is what I get for helping you, you should find spiders more often."

"Nyah. From now on there are spider traps in every nook and cranny of this house!"

He smirked, somewhat evilly.

"Oh look, a spider."

"WHERE?!"

I leapt into his arms, screaming to get the broom.

He just laughed, picking me up and bringing me into the kitchen to get me some breakfast. Apparently, my blood sugar was low, which was why I kept screaming.

* * *

So? What'd you think? Do I suck more than Mary-Sues? Or am I more awesome than Xanxus's evil laugh? You decide!

...

Please don't hurt me... D:


End file.
